The pain and the denial

Wow, it's been over 2 years since I have posted here.

If you know me, then you know what happened to Mark Loesch on September 13th. You can find the story at the above link on WCCO TV or here http://www.startribune.com/467/story/1425232.html

Mark was a best friend. His greatest achievement was being a dad. Of course everyone says nice things about people when they are gone, but everyone said nice things about Mark while he was here.

The pain has been nearly unbearable. The denial great. I have been to visit Samantha and their kids, I've read the papers, I have seen the story on the local and even national news. My brain knows he is gone, and how he went. But my heart will not accept the news. I know the 5 stages of loss...

Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance

So far I have a lot of denial and anger. I can't imagine how long it is going to take to get to acceptance.

Simply put, Mark was the best. A great dad, always a part of every one of his kids lives. Taking the time to make each one feel loved and special. Helping them with homework, and never afraid to look silly in order to put a smile on their face. Or anyone's face for that matter. EVERYONE who knew him loved him. He was a father long before I was. When I would go to him for advice about parenting he always had something for me, and was very careful not to tell me what to do, but offer suggestions and alternatives. Everything from an infant crying in the night, to a toddler that wants a toy in the store that he or she is not going to get on this visit. It was like being a dad was just second nature to him. Never too harsh, never too carefree, a perfect balance.

When we were kids my parents trusted him and his judgment more than mine. Of course that worked out well as I just had to say, "Mark will be there" and then I could go. Go to the mall, the park, bike riding, or what have you.

Mark even taught me the power of meditation through praying the rosary. I was baptized in the Catholic Church in 2001 and it was strange, new and uncomfortable to pray the rosary, until Mark shared with me that the meditative powers of rosary are what, in part, helped him through hard times.

It is ironic that some of the best memories I have of Mark were of going bike riding as kids, and now the worst memory I have will be of him taking his last bike ride.

God bless you Mark, and God bless your wonderful family.